Take our 'Am I Being Abused' questionnaire.
Staying Safe: If You Choose To Leave An Abusive Relationship
If you are unsure of what to do, call a women’s shelter in your area and explain your situation. Crisis line staff will offer support, safety planning, and may offer emergency shelter. You can call the Hoshizaki House 24 hrs a day, at: (807) 223-3226 or 1-800-465-7221.
- Make a plan to leave. Consider things, such as: When will you leave?, Where will you go?, How will you get there?, How will you stay safe?, etc. Speaking with a crisis worker may help you to come up with a plan that is right for your situation.
- Sometimes it is best not to tell your partner that you are planning to leave, as this may cause him/her to become more abusive, or stop you from leaving.
- If you fear for your safety, you may request police escort while you leave.
- Put aside emergency money as you can.
- Pack an extra set of clothes for yourself and your children and store them somewhere you can grab quickly on the way out of the house.
- If there is time, try to take with you:
- ID: Driver’s license, Birth Certificates, Health Cards, Status Cards, etc.
- Citizenship documents (such as your passport, green card, etc.)
- Prescription medications you are currently taking
- Copies of court orders (custody, restraining order, etc.) if you have them
- Pay stubs
- Bank Cards, Credit Cards, and other banking information
- Valued pictures, jewellery, or personal possessions
- Titles, deeds, and other property information
- Income Tax documents
- Medical records
- Children’s school and immunization records
- Insurance information
- Copy of marriage license, will, and other legal documents
Staying Safe: If You Choose To Stay In An Abusive Relationship
If you plan on staying in an abusive relationship, it is important to identify your partner’s use and level of force so that you can assess danger to you and your children.
Hoshizaki House staff can help you assess your risk, and assist you in making a safety plan. We are available 24 hours a day at: (807) 223-3226 or 1-800-465-7221
- Try to avoid an abusive situation by leaving the house before an argument escalates.
- Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and there are ways to escape. If arguments occur, try to move to those areas. Stay out of the kitchen, garage, or workshop, as these rooms often contain weapons.
- Keep weapons like guns and knives locked away and as inaccessible as possible.
- Try not to wear scarves or long jewellery. The abuser could use them to strangle you.
- If possible, have a phone accessible at all times and know what numbers to call for help.
- Don’t be afraid to call the police.
- If violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target; dive into a corner and curl up into a ball with your face protected and arms around each side of your head, fingers entwined.
- Don’t run to where the children are, as your partner may hurt them as well.
- Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get involved in the violence between you and your partner. Plan a code word to signal to them that they should get help or leave the house.
- Practice how to get out safely. Practice with your children.
- If you have a vehicle, make a habit of backing into the driveway and keeping the gas tank above half. Keep the driver’s door unlocked and others locked-for quick escape.